This morning I received an e-mail from a very dear friend. He had questions about reaching goals and overcoming doubt and fear. I have been wanting to write about this for some time and responding to his questions has allowed me to organize my thoughts on the matter. Here is an abbreviated version of that response:
Failure is entirely in the mind. Once you lose your fear of failure, you can do anything. If, instead of failure, you see every challenge as an opportunity to learn, then you are unstoppable. If you choose to look for blame (yourself or others) you will learn nothing. That's the first part. The second part is ... forgiveness... However, really turning your/my/our attention inward and focusing that love and forgiveness on yourself takes practice. It's okay to love yourself. (You are) a beautiful person inside and out, but the inside is more important. Stop judging others and you will stop judging yourself. Judging is a HUGE obstacle. We all do it...Remember, loyalty and prejudice are no different. They both are forms of judging AND they prevent one from being objective about various situations. If one can be objective, then we realize that events are not happening to us and start to see the opportunities all around us. Also, we need to learn to adjust, adapt and acclimatize to every situation, whether that situation meets our expectations or not. Of course, it would be better not to have expectations @ all.
Some other recommendations:
*Know what you want. Write it down. Make lists of the things you want to accomplish for a day or a lifetime. Those lists may change.
*Every morning, wake up knowing what that day is to be about...(if you) don't meet that particular objective...forgive (yourself), look @ what (you) did that was of benefit and start over the next day.
*Ignore as much negativity as possible and do not let the offhand remarks of others shape your identity. People project their needs, wishes, fears and desires onto others. We can not see qualities in others if we do not possess them ourselves. If you see (someone) as inspirational then you yourself are indeed inspirational. :-D
*Recognize that no individual is better or worse than (yourself). And, likewise, (you are) no better or worse than anyone.
*Try to not get too hung-up on when (you) reach a particular goal. (You'll) get there.
*Let go of criticism. There is always someone who will tell you that you can not do it. Sometimes (my/your/our) way works out and sometimes it doesn't...learn something, ask the question again and then move forward.
*I knew a swami that said, "We only have 3% free will. Use it." Great advice!
*Know the difference between hoping something will happen and believing it will happen. There is a BIG difference between hoping and believing.
*Find a deep spiritual path that brings you joy and inner peace. Practice it everyday. Meditate everyday. Love yourself and everyone around you. Forgive yourself and everyone around you. Realize how truly amazing you are. Remember that you are loved. Remember your good deeds.
Deepest Shanti and Prem,
S.
Failure is entirely in the mind. Once you lose your fear of failure, you can do anything. If, instead of failure, you see every challenge as an opportunity to learn, then you are unstoppable. If you choose to look for blame (yourself or others) you will learn nothing. That's the first part. The second part is ... forgiveness... However, really turning your/my/our attention inward and focusing that love and forgiveness on yourself takes practice. It's okay to love yourself. (You are) a beautiful person inside and out, but the inside is more important. Stop judging others and you will stop judging yourself. Judging is a HUGE obstacle. We all do it...Remember, loyalty and prejudice are no different. They both are forms of judging AND they prevent one from being objective about various situations. If one can be objective, then we realize that events are not happening to us and start to see the opportunities all around us. Also, we need to learn to adjust, adapt and acclimatize to every situation, whether that situation meets our expectations or not. Of course, it would be better not to have expectations @ all.
Some other recommendations:
*Know what you want. Write it down. Make lists of the things you want to accomplish for a day or a lifetime. Those lists may change.
*Every morning, wake up knowing what that day is to be about...(if you) don't meet that particular objective...forgive (yourself), look @ what (you) did that was of benefit and start over the next day.
*Ignore as much negativity as possible and do not let the offhand remarks of others shape your identity. People project their needs, wishes, fears and desires onto others. We can not see qualities in others if we do not possess them ourselves. If you see (someone) as inspirational then you yourself are indeed inspirational. :-D
*Recognize that no individual is better or worse than (yourself). And, likewise, (you are) no better or worse than anyone.
*Try to not get too hung-up on when (you) reach a particular goal. (You'll) get there.
*Let go of criticism. There is always someone who will tell you that you can not do it. Sometimes (my/your/our) way works out and sometimes it doesn't...learn something, ask the question again and then move forward.
*I knew a swami that said, "We only have 3% free will. Use it." Great advice!
*Know the difference between hoping something will happen and believing it will happen. There is a BIG difference between hoping and believing.
*Find a deep spiritual path that brings you joy and inner peace. Practice it everyday. Meditate everyday. Love yourself and everyone around you. Forgive yourself and everyone around you. Realize how truly amazing you are. Remember that you are loved. Remember your good deeds.
Deepest Shanti and Prem,
S.
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